So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize