Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the condom got lost in my hair
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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