so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
