people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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