At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
