Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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