I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
