The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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