i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so let's talk penis.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
