I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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