i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
