Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
