He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
