You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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