Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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