So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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