heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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