one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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