I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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