Swine flu. Run for my life!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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