At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
