she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
