I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
