I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
