Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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