No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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