New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Ketchup is God's man juice
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm really busy with my period
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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