Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
need another drink. this is the easiest way
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
