He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I love you. Go after that dick
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
