Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
