I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Barsexuality is the new black.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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