So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
