i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
