Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
