You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize