what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My cat gives me a boner
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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