No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
