I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
