you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish i was in the wii world.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
