Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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