My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
