just come out here and I will go home with you...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
