i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
