and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
