Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I love you.
Bad choice
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
