I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
