what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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