I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
