how can u be prego again
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
