after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
