Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
