zippers are such a cool invention
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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