I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
