Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
this just has baby written all over it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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