rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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