so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
