So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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