The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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