One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize