Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
