her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
