I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
