do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
50% drunk capacity currently
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
