she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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