I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
