I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
