are you still at the devil's house?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I didn't notice because vodka
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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